I'll Cry Tomorrow

Spoiler alert!

Singer Lillian's husband David dies, and she grieves. (0:27)

Lillian's nurse Ellen gives her whiskey to help her sleep. (0:38)

When they awaken in a hotel room her new husband Wallie tells Lillian they are married. She appears to have no memory of the wedding, presumably experienced by her during an alcoholic blackout. (0:43)

Lillian observes, "Drinking became our way of life." (0:44)

As her new friend Tony leaves, Lillian, appearing determined to stop drinking, pointedly puts her drank on the bar without taking a sip. (0:56)

Lillian's mother Katie tells Lillian, "You are going to become an old-fashioned drunkard." Lillian says, "I can stop drinking whenever I want to." She begins shaking so badly she cannot write a check. (0:58)

In a tavern the waitress tells Lillian, "The shakes, huh?... I know the signs. (1:01)

Back at home Lillian displays more signs of alcohol withdrawal. She thinks to herself, "Nothing could have that hold on me." (1:02)

Lillian: "But like all alcoholics I lied to myself... I told myself I was drinking because I was high strung and sensitive. I was an artist. I'd been hurt. One day it was to pick me up because I was down. Another it was to quiet me down because I was so high." (1:04)

Lillian tells Tony, "I've even read pamphlets from Alcoholics Anonymous." Tony says to Lillian, "Let's go on the wagon together." (1:09)

Lillian tells Katie that she must have a drink. (1:26)

After locking herself in her hotel room Lillian starts to write a note. She looks out the window and at the street far below. She walks to the other side of the room, takes a running start, but barely stops herself from jumping through the window to her death. (1:32)

As Lillian approaches a building we see a sign with the letters "AA." Alcoholics Anonymous members welcome her in and offer help. Member Burt and others provide support as she goes through alcohol withdrawal, apparently including hallucinations and withdrawal delirium. (1:35)

Lillian tells Burt, "I tried to kill myself in this room. Right at that window. I couldn't do it. It wasn't fear." Burt tells her about alcoholism, "... our quarrel with fate... All alcoholics have one." He recites the serenity prayer. (1:42)

Burt opens a meeting. We see the serenity prayer on a sign behind the podium. Member Richard talks about "skid row... the Bowery." (1:45)

Lillian asks Burt, "Since you are my sponsor, what does that make you to the people whose sponsor I am?" (1:49)

You can also read I'll Cry Tomorrow by Lillian Roth

alcoholic | Alcoholics Anonymous | alcoholism | Alcohol Withdrawal | Bereavement | blackout | on the wagon | serenity prayer | Substance Withdrawal Delirium | suicide